35

I’m writing for no particular reason other than it’s been years. Maybe it’s because my heart is heavy and so much has changed in my life. Some are good and some are bad but that’s just how life is. It’s crazy how as we grow and age, our perceptions are different. Maybe it’s also because social media plays a huge part in our lives now. So we all learn to ebb and flow with the times.

I went through some of my older posts and I think it’s been at least three years since I’ve written anything. So many things have changed. I’ve lost and gained. Been happy and sad. Also, been through some very tough times in these past three years. I don’t know how else to explain it other than these were lessons and perhaps just meant to be that way.

Something that keeps popping up is that I will always love unconditionally. I will never understand why people can just drop off and walk away from anything or anyone. It’s the saddest thing. If you loved before, how does love just wilt away so quickly. This is what makes me feel that love is so painful. The reason why I will only believe that with family, it will always be unconditional love. However, when it comes to relationships it’s a double-edged sword. They do so say, with love we can’t always be afraid. Yet, I’m so afraid because I’m not sure if I will ever find unconditional love outside of my blood family. It’s something I yearn for but only find in myself when I’m with someone. I realize we all love differently but to know that someone else other than family, loves you unconditionally… I want that so much! I feel like that would be such a goal and feat for me. I think it will be blissful and I can die happy knowing there is someone else other than my family who loves me unconditionally. Life is so many shades and we never know what we will get. I pray and hope that better things are to come… in life and in love.